Q-riouser and Q-riouser ..
helo Q, I can see the " daily" in the letter really silenced you ........ you must be thinking to yourself that you cant possibly keep it up ............. well, Q, perhaps I meant you to be totally silenced ........... yeah, I can see that honesty can silence as effectively as ...... well, .... ANYTHING ! ...... mugging, gagging, murder etc !! How long will it take you to recover, I wonder ? I wait in breathless curiosity ! ....... or at least a part of my mind does ....... not the whole as I'm sure you understand ........... I'm rather too busy with multiple projects. Just like you, Q ........
sayonara (if at all possible)
I have wasted a lot of time searching for you, Ray. I guess you will only be found when the time is right ....... which isnt now. Ok, forget it, I'm not going to search for you anymore.
There is a lot of peace in closing one's mind and just drifting in the present......... away from all claims............ away from all expectations.......... some may say its not exciting ........... but ........when I compare excitement with this, ........ I prefer peace sometimes........... excitement has its place ........ but this peaceful drift and lazy hour......... has lots of attraction ....... perhaps this is how it will be at the end of life ............ drifting in a time when you no longer think of the past with any emotion .......... when you are totally dispassionate, ....... when you fully see ....... that you bring nothing with you when you came....... into this world........ and that you will bring nothing with you ....... when you leave............................. I wonder if this is called nihilism ........ or fatalism !!
at any rate, Ray, you're not getting the better of me .......... I'll find you ...... one day ....... when fate opens the window between our lives .............. again. Sayonara then, till we meet again.....
little moments in time, HAH!
A Poem for You, Q
Thanks for the message you wrote to me.......
thanks for the words that sounded sincere,
you made me smile
you made my heart light
when you told me that only I was right,
the Only one you desire, (???)
and so for a while ( a mere short moment in this day),
I suspend disbelief
to fully enjoy this bright feeling
and pretend that this can actually be
not just a one-off feeling, but actually Something
that you hold in your secret heart
and spoken as though
you would speak it everyday
But I know better
this short sunshine
is but a moment
that I have suspended ---- in time
thank you though, ....... in spirit......................
it was Fun, ....pretending !!
yes, I had a great few hours laughing at my reminiscences
and at all that I have learnt along the way..............
married ?
my dear Dave ........ so she's told you she's getting married ! what can I say ....... truly there seems nothing to be done since you didnt think of dumping her when she dumped you ...... so are you now prepared to send her all the best wishes for a happy day ? ....... u must know i'm leaving this spot like a streak of light...................
no reply
so , now you wont talk to me, Dave ..... just because I said its a little too much to expect me to be spending hours on Messenger listening to you moan about her. funny you dont realise you take hours moaning and I get impatient over all my undone work ..... yeah, you have a paid psychologist to listen to you too, but you
PAY him , how abt paying
ME, if you want me to do his job ....... yeah, all this sounds like so mean of me,
but ..............................
words fail me (
I bow my head )............ OK ...... let me tell you that everytime we talk abt her on Messenger, it takes you TWO hours AT LEAST , to derive some peace such that we can switch off, do you realise that I have given up 2 hours and have so much work on hand undone ?...........
no .................... I give up............... ppl who are miserable only think of themselves, they are insulated in their misery, coccooned by a sheet they cannot break out of .......... only time wil set you free like the butterfly from its chrysalis ........ .(
I'll just hope you get through, and wander away now).........
slate
hey Jenny, why did you say that I have to pick myself up when I fall down, cause noone's going to do it ?
wouldnt you have helped me ??? I thot you were my best friend........ now I'm not so sure ........ and to make sure I get the message, you even wrote it down for me !?!? what a shocking unpleasant surprise you gave me when I read it. And now I habour suspicion against you and our friendship's never gonna be the same again .......... see what a little sentence can do ?
In fact I suddenly wonder why you hang around me ........... cause I'm like , the smartest girl in the class ?? there's some cachet to be gained ?? ......... gee whiz, I guess we're not REALLY friends are we ?? (
now that I start to analyse this friendship )At the same time, you make me sad ........ I really liked you ....... you looked so gentle and your skin is so FAIR ........ hmmm, you look like an english girl !!! save for the black hair of course, and the eyes etc. I guess though that I have judged by appearances ........ and you're just a cruel, advantage taking , mean person. You hurt me but you pretend that you dont understand my bewilderment, and in fact you seem quite satisfied that you have successfully stabbed me . .......... yes, your heart is now apparent to be seen ....... it is a piece of slate stone.and yes, photos
do lie........ its all a matter of angles, light and shade.
